I hide my chocolate and I count my cookies. In a disciplined and controlled way, I allow myself snippets of deliciousness. But not too much. Because I might lose control and … what? Get fat? For me, denying myself food means I am in control and a good girl. Being hungry and thin is an achievement – I feel virtuous. At the height of my thinness, when I was dancing as a teenager obsessed with ballet, I liked going to bed hungry because that meant I would be even thinner in the morning. The opposite of thin – not being thin – is threatening. It means curvy sexuality. As a girl, I was angry at the unwanted sexual attention. I took out my anger on my self and my body.
Fat or thin, compulsive or controlled, we are all connected in our struggle with eating. Eating correlates directly with how much we weigh and what we look like and is tied up in our feelings about our self. We love to eat and we need to eat. We should enjoy eating! Eating can be a pleasure, if we let it be.
I have spent 50 years controlling what I eat (hiding my chocolate, counting my cookies, and measuring, always measuring, my calories). I am beginning to arrive at a still complicated but more peaceful relationship with food. My hope is to share some of who I am and what I have learned about eating – about living – with all who want a healthy and enjoyable relationship with food and a healthy and enjoyable relationship with their self and their body.
Sally is 53 – a daughter, a wife, and a mother of two teens. She is a marketing executive in the media industry and a certified yoga instructor.
Ooooh no, you should never hide chocolate ♥ hee hee hee
Congrats on your blog 🙂
I am a lucky one, with a wonderful metabolism (just like my daddy) & had never had to count calories or be on a diet… I eat what my body is craving each day and it most likely involve bread, cheese & chocolate 🙂 Maybe growing up in Switzerland helped a lot. We are not so focused on weight and we just be. So we don’t get caught up in the whole food thing… But I am here to support you and help in any ways I can 🙂 🙂 🙂
LOVE YOU LOTS!!! (just like I LOVE chocolate) ♥
So glad I stumbled upon your blog and after all this time know a bit more about you. I also loved Mr Rogers and used to believe my older babysitter was his wife and one day I would live in king Fridays’ castle.
I’m now a follower 🙂 xxoo
Welcome Juliana, I am so happy to have you! I love the thought of King Friday and your babysitter being married. 🙂
Thank you for your courage for putting into words a struggle that so many can relate to, whether that it involves food or takes another form. I hope that your blog provides a beneficial and healthy outlet for your continued growth, and that others may learn from in your continuing journey.
I don’t hide my chocolate, but I love my chocolate. My mother used to keep a Hershey bar in the freezer when I was a little girl. She would put my sister down for a nap, and then the two of us would have our time together. . .eating the WHOLE frozen bar. My mother died on November 1. I didn’t expect to feel like this. I said good-bye to her about 2 years ago, right as I was starting a yoga practice. Yoga let me say good-bye. She had entered the final stages of Alzheimer’s disease and Parkinsonianism and my mother was leaving me. So that brings me to chocolate: Mom was a choclaholic. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was feeding her scoops and scoops of chocolate ice cream with as much Hershey’s syrup as I could squeeze into the bowl. If I could have squeezed the container into her mouth, I would have! It was the only thing she would open her mouth for and open it she did! Faster than I could get it onto the spoon! She had a chocolate moustache and chocolate was everywhere. In plain sight. On my way to practice today, I had to put on a heavy coat from last winter for the first time. I found two Lindt chocolate truffles in the pocket. Hmmm. . . in plain sight. After practice, I savored every bite. Thanks mom!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful and heartfelt response.
Wow what great thoughts on food and eating as I am on the opposite side of the spectrum I am always curious about what others experience with food are. Thank you for being so open.
Thanks so much for visiting my blog!
GASP, You cant hide chocolate in Germany. It’s a sin, The chocolate is so, so good. But of course with the eating comes the inevitable of exercise routines. Again So Yummy!
My hiding places have all been found and I am learning to share my chocolate!
Great blog! I just nominated you for a Liebster Award.
Hello, I have passed the “Bouquet of Three Award” to you. Congratulations! Find out more here:http://mysocalledglamorouslife.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/bouquet-of-three-award/
Thank you, I am honored!
Sally, thanks for all that you are sharing. You have given me much to think about in your posts and I appreciate your candid style. I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Award, mainly because I want my readers to enjoy your writing too. The details are on my blog (http://tipsyyogi.wordpress.com/2013/06/08/rays-of-sunshine/), but it’s totally up to you whether or not you want to participate. No matter what – I’m a fan!
Thank you so much for reading and sharing! It can be hard to put it out there – but I usually find someone else is thinking the same but afraid to express it. Namaste.
Namaste right back at you 🙂
Hi, Sally. I really appreciate your following my blog. I enjoy yours. Peace, John
I am moved by your writing. Peace, Sally
Thank you for sharing your story. 🙂 If you’re into chain-blogging, I mentioned you here: http://chasingadaredevilandtwins.com/2013/07/28/osblog-old-school-blog/
I would like to nominate you for the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award (I know, it’s a mouthful!) Basically, someone nominated me, and I accepted, because it seemed rude not to and now I’m nominating you, ’cause you’re amazing!
Thank you so much! I am touched and completely thrilled when people tell me that they find what I write to be meaningful to them.
I just started yoga and blogging. Right now the main constant in my life is my chocolate! I could never hide it, it’s my constant companion:)
Nice to meet you, I look forward to reading more.
I’m at https://noplainjanie.wordpress.com. I have posted about yoga and about chocolate. We have a lot in common:)
Thanks Janie! Happy to have you and I look forward to reading your posts. I’m eating super dark 80%+ chocolate these days… 😉
I love this, Sally! Wise words for a new year. May yours be peaceful and fulfilling.
Thank you Libby, for reading and appreciating. Wishing you love and joy in the new year.
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